Wishes, dreams and faraway things …

If you are a dreamer come in

If you are a dreamer a wisher a liar

A hoper a pray-er a magic-bean-buyer

If you’re a pretender come sit by my fire

For we have some flax golden tales to spin

Come in!

Come In! – Shel Silverstein

Maybe you are one of those people who already has a whole menu of magical missions forming part of your dream list, or perhaps, as I mention here, you have many dreams fluttering along behind you, which you intend to have a sort through.

But it could just be that you are one of those who thinks that having wishes and dreams is a cartload of old tosh, and you don’t see why you should bother at all.

I totally get that, and such a view is hardly surprising given that wishes and dreams get a somewhat negative press –

 ‘Dream on!’, ‘In your dreams!’, ‘You must be dreaming!

If wishes were horses then beggars would ride!’ ‘Be careful what you wish for!’ ‘Wishing doesn’t make it so!’ 

But my favourite must be –

Well, that’ll remain stuck firmly to the bottom of the dream jar, won’t it?

Which makes dreams sound impossibly far away and wishes would seem like they amount to absolutely sod all – and quite possibly why we end up sinking into our boots, when advised to create a future by utilising the two things that appear rather airy fairy and will get us nowhere!

It could of course be the names – after all, wishes and dreams do sound like little puffs of nothingness – so why think about them, yet alone write them down?  Who wants to build a life on puffs of nothingness?

And I did once think along those lines, until I came to realise that there are a lot of successful people out there who believe truly in the power of wishes and dreams, so perhaps I should as well.

Now I’ll give anything a go so I had a rootle around multitudes of testimony and concluded that –

Wishes should be our deepest desires

Dreams should come from our desires and be our intended destination; with

Both being connected by goals which form the route

So I stopped being a naysayer and had a go at writing a wish list – the first two items of which were –

  1. Pair of Jimmy Choo crystal encrusted shoes
  2. Cocker spaniel

Nothing wrong with that you may conclude, until I tell you that in order for me to realise number 1, the spaniel would have to be relegated to number 3, as number 2 would most surely have to be – ‘Make appointment to have three toes amputated from each foot!’ – because there wasn’t a cat in hell’s chance of me ever squeezing my enormous trotters into a pair of Jimmy’s finest without drastic surgery!

I was embarrassed to note that, with one or two exceptions, the rest of the list seemed equally nonsensical and ended up being relegated to a convenient cubby hole, never to see the light of day again until the next wish list jumped in on top of it.

But you know what?  The darned shoes bugged me!  If one of my wishes was to cover my fat feet in crystals – how on earth could that be my deepest desire?  Well it wasn’t, of course – because my deepest desire lay not in what it was, but why I was thinking it.

It wasn’t that I wanted to strut my stuff with glittery feet, more a longing to be able to look down and not be utterly miserable at my gargantuan hooves!  Now, there was no way I was having three toes cut off on each foot (even if that were remotely practical!) but I craved a solution to something that really bothered me.

In short – it wasn’t a want it was an absolute desire.

So, what’s the difference then?

Well, a want is a desire but it’s a superficial one, which can change in as little as a minute (or in my fickle world, point one of a nanosecond …), whereas a desire is far stronger and more intense and, consequently, will continue to grow for so much longer – even lasting a lifetime.  Therefore, it surely follows that we all need to base our dreams on what we truly desire and not what we want – but, the sad fact is, a lot of us don’t – we base them on our wants.

The problem with that is that the process of wanting and attaining can be a heck of a big gap.  Sometimes a lifelong one – and if one day you write down what you want, then you will probably be filled with positivity for maybe a few hours until, that is, you realise what it is going to take.  A realisation that brings on negativity by the cartload because wants do not have anything near the power of desires.

The other thing is that wants are not the only thing that change – we do as well, and the natural passage of time means that we learn new things which, in turn, changes our circumstances.  Consequently, we become different people and what we thought we wanted, say, a year ago may not be entirely what we think we want now.

The result of this can be that we end up going through life grasping at everything that takes our interest, often in the vain hope that it is what will get us what we want and send us closer to our destination.

Therefore, attempting to create any life based on what we want stands, probably, a fifty-fifty chance of making the destination a successful one.  However, if we do everything we can to base our destination on what is totally, absolutely and bone-shakingly our deepest desire then, regardless of the length of time it could take, it will stand a far, far greater chance of ensuring that the destination is the right one.

So how can you try and squeeze as near as dammit to your desires?  Well, nothing is absolutely certain, but there is a little technique called ‘100 Wishes’ which I have used to great effect, although it can throw up some strange things.

For example, one of mine was ‘Paint like Michelangelo’ – I know, it seemed rather bizarre at the time, but I popped it down on the paper – notwithstanding that I didn’t have an artistic bone in my body!

I think I got to the bottom of why I wrote it though, and you can find out here.

Do pop over there and have a go at turning your wishes into the destination of your dreams.

I know, you wish!

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