The first step towards change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.
Do you have an elephant in the room with you? I once had a whole herd but have now managed to reduce the numbers somewhat, although there are a few stubborn buggers that pop up to trample me on occasion.
If you have read my previous post, you will know that I touched on the necessity of honesty, and in this one I want to take it a little further by maybe helping you start the process of dealing with your own elephants.
Acknowledging your assemblage of angst is far from being a glorious prospect – and in all likelihood will be one of the hardest things you will do. However, by bringing them out into the open and accepting that they are what they are will, in fact, go a long way to removing the negativity that they bring into your life. It will not afford a solution, but it will remove the fear of both them and the feelings you probably try to avoid.
Once the fear has been diluted, you will likely find that you can bring a certain ‘matter of factness’ to such issues, and once you are comfortable with that then you can start the process of diminishing them to the point of near nothingness.
Naturally, no process is quick or without difficulty but by validating in this way will most certainly ease your path.
Start today by doing a stock take of your elephants – but do so in a completely non-judgemental way – they are, after all, not your shame but merely the key to opening the door to your brighter, happier and more fulfilled future.
Once you have your list, and if you feel able, have a go at examining them in a little more detail, by answering the following where they apply to each –
How has this arisen?
Have I attempted to deal with it before?
What can I do differently now?
Why haven’t I dealt with this before?
What is the one thing that causes me the most worry about it?
How much is this impacting on my life?
Remember, you are not judging yourself – just fostering awareness and acceptance and, of course, bringing the rampaging herd under some control …